Joke thread

Completely off topic!
choppers
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Re: Joke thread

Post by choppers »

Steve_R wrote:Image
Cmon, we have all been in that state lol. Poor guy.. :lol:
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4liters
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Re: Joke thread

Post by 4liters »

Not as bad as this guy:
Brute
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Re: Joke thread

Post by Brute »

Morton was out catching Yabbies, he had one in the bucket when the Fishing Inspector came up to him. I've got you the Inspector said to Morton, it's out of season for catching yabbies, no no said Morton, that's my pet yabbie, rubbish said the Inspector. Look Ill prove it to you said Morton, you let me put him in the water and he'll just do his dayly swimming, he'll just do a circuit and come back to where I let him in. Rubbish said the Inspector again, but Morton kept on about it so much that the Inspector gave in and let Morton put the yabbie in the water for a swim. They both stood there as the yabbie took to the water and they waited and waited for its return to where Morton had let it in the water. After a while the Inspector said to Morton "well where is it" all Morton said was "WHERES WHAT?"
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Widsa
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Re: Joke thread

Post by Widsa »

choppers wrote:
Steve_R wrote:Image
Cmon, we have all been in that state lol. Poor guy.. :lol:
Bwa hahahaha.. left turn Clyde.
That guy would make a mean speed skater, perfect form, watch for him in Rio.
Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. ~Ernest Hemingway
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Steve_R
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Re: Joke thread

Post by Steve_R »

Image
Image

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience - Greg King

It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows ― Epictetus


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Babylon
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Re: Joke thread

Post by Babylon »

Steve_R wrote:Image
:clap: :clap: :clap: :lol:
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Babylon
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Re: Joke thread

Post by Babylon »

It was entertainment night at the Senior Center. Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: "I'm here to put you into a trance; I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.
"I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch..."
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
"SH*T!" exclaimed the hypnotist.
It took three days to clean up the Senior Center.
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placcymarauder
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Re: Joke thread

Post by placcymarauder »

Re: Joke thread

Unread postby Babylon » 17 Sep 2016, 07:41
It was entertainment night at the Senior Center. Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: "I'm here to put you into a trance; I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.
"I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch..."
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
"SH*T!" exclaimed the hypnotist.
It took three days to clean up the Senior Center.


Less gross on the mind than the other expletive he could have said.lol
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Never even had line on it. Make an offer.
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bunyip
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Re: Joke thread

Post by bunyip »

What's the easiest way to milk a sheep?




































Bring out a new iPhone.
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Steve_R
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Re: Joke thread

Post by Steve_R »

Image
Image

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience - Greg King

It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows ― Epictetus


BOT? https://checkip.kaspersky.com/
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